Why Your Inner Critic & Inner Child is Ruining Your Life
And is the KEY to your love life, self-esteem, and financial success
Do you ever get hijacked by fears & doubts in your life? Do you have repeating patterns that drive you crazy?
Yeah, me too. Last week I got my ass kicked by my Inner Critic.
OUCH!
And I loved it.
Well, I love it NOW because I learned a lot, and discovered a deeper, more compassionate understanding of myself.
I also connected to my empowered, confident badass and put her in charge of more areas of my life.
Because ALL of us have capable, wise parts. And all of us have fearful, insecure, mean or critical parts.
All of us are constantly navigating these different sides of our body/mind- the shadow and the light.
If we miss or ignore the opportunity to understand and work with the shadow- it can be the main reason we never “do the thing”, realize our dreams, or find the love we desire.
But when we DO…sky is the limit!
Doing this work, I have learned tools to upgrade and evolve my sexuality, love, career, friend & family relationships and so much more.
I engage with this process as a journey of growth, learning and expansion for the rest of my life. Sharing this with others helps integrate my experiences- even the shadowy, hard ones.
This is the same work I do with clients to guide them through what I call the 7 Gateways into Wholeness and Transformation. The 3rd Gateway is Finding your Inner Resources and the 4th Gateway is working with Fear/Shadow. Both of these are at play here.
If we want to move from Surviving into Thriving in life- we have to actively and CONSCIOUSLY put the more resourceful, empowered, mature parts of ourselves in charge. This also means learning how to engage with our fears and blocks in a healthy and productive way.
The Fear/Critic is usually some aspect of our Inner Child and a protective mechanism we learned as children.
This part of us had to face the world and got criticized, scared, or hurt and tried to protect us and find meaning as best it could.
Most of us are totally unaware the immature, childish parts of our body/mind have been managing important aspects of our life- like love relationships, sexuality, sense of worthiness, money, career decisions, public persona etc etc. and are actually totally unconscious.
Ask yourself: Where in life do I often struggle? When do I doubt myself and feel helpless? What repeatedly overwhelms me? Where am I most likely to go in a downward spiral of self-doubt or critical thoughts? When do I feel angry, scared, or powerless?
It is likely these parts of life are being run by an aspect of your Inner Child.
Would you ask a small child to drive a car, or negotiate a salary, or make decisions about your intimate relationship?
Of course not.
Clearly, a child is not equipped to manage SEX - ADULT CONFLICT - MONEY - CAREER - WORTHINESS - BELONGING.
But that is exactly what many of us are doing everyday- without realizing it.
This small, scared part of us is STILL trying to protect us and manage things. And would rather be playing, having fun, being creative, joyful and expressive- not burdened with Adult responsibility.
We are unconsciously expecting our Inner Child to run areas of our lives that are totally inappropriate. So it makes sense we react in in childish, simplistic and sometimes illogical ways.
It is no wonder that so many intelligent, skilled, amazing people become paralyzed with insecurity and blocked in certain areas of life.
Sound familiar?
As children, we were just doing the best we could.
As adults, we CAN and must do better. Or suffer the consequences.
The Inner Child being in charge makes us feel anxiety, doubt, fear, and act in really strange and self-sabotaging ways- and we don’t really know why. An additional challenge is that most of us repress, ignore, shame or deny this vulnerable part of ourselves.
The cycle repeats, and we get frustrated and lose even more confidence in ourselves.
The Bad News : If we don’t catch these old patterns, and work with our Inner Child effectively, it can end up derailing our life/career/love/relationships and block us from what we deeply desire.
The Good News : We also have mature, confident parts that we can put in charge of these important areas of life.
We learn to reassign the responsibilities within ourselves and successfully invite the empowered parts into more appropriate roles.
Also, when we free our Inner Child from adult burdens, and provide safe guidance, they are FREE to bring more playful, lighthearted, adventurous, creative energy into our lives!
An integrated relationship with the Inner Child allows us to be brave and authentic in expressing our unique gifts and take creative risks in life. As we bring more resilience and self-trust into relationships, we are able to create and share healthy love
Its the best of both worlds- an integrated self that can handle adult life with skill, AND bring the joy that makes life juicy!
But… it can be very challenging to upgrade these old, immature parts alone. This patterns have been hidden so long, that it often takes skilled guidance to help you uncover and redirect the unconscious blueprint.
This is why it is so powerful to work with an effective coach to support this life-changing transformation!
If this is calling you, reach out to me for a free Discovery Call to explore what is possible
